A good bit of the manosphere can credit its origins to middle-aged men recounting depressing stories about their experiences with marriage and psychotic women. In particular, the MGTOW community is often buoyed by older dudes discussing how they were cucked or “divorce raped” by a female chameleon. These examples are held up as the St. Red Pill truths that men ought to follow, or else risk legal and financial destitution.
Yet I remain rather unconvinced. While there can be no question that many marriages end in a smoldering ball of fire due to the wife’s infidelity or lilipad-hopping standards, that is not always the full story. The problem is, we get nothing beyond grim lamentations from the men reporting their suffering, and little of the other side.
This creates an obvious problem concerning male forthrightness. If we consider that (anecdotally) the typical guy has no issue exaggerating the size of his wealth, endowment, or quality/number of past sexual partners, then why should he be trusted otherwise?
As I noted in an older video, I have known three men in real life who were MGTOWs in all but name. They talked about the secret nature of women, the corrupt family courts, and the problem of feminism. On top of that, they all tried to dissuade those around them from taking those holy vows.
Nothing terribly wrong with such advice, but as I learned more about their marriages from associates and friends, the following came out:
- Guy No. 1: Would come home sopping drunk most nights to his wife and five kids, yell at his woman, and then proceed to pass out on the couch, often naked.
- Guy No. 2: Regularly screamed at his wife on the phone and in person for minor issues like not including a particular utensil with his bag lunch. Was a jerk to people in general.
- Guy No. 3: Cheated on his wife with older woman, and gave his spouse a serious STD.
A further problem got highlighted by No. 1, who said he married a “great actress,” which is manosphere parlance for a female “chameleon.” There was a time I might have taken this claim seriously, but having dated a large share of women, I find it very difficult to believe, if not entirely laughable. Reality simply gets in the way.
To illustrate things better, let’s eliminate the men who came from traditional backgrounds and were virgins going into marriage. These guys can be excluded because they probably bought into the romantic fairy tales on the basis of custom. For everyone else, there was some dancing in the moonlight going on before vow time, and likely with multiple partners. In other words, they weren’t ignorant of all female behavior.
With that being said, it’s hard to believe those fellers failed to see the red flags coming. Women may be good at keeping up a facade for a few months –maybe even a year—yet at a certain point it becomes abundantly obvious what intentions she holds. They might try to fool a guy, but very few are that good.
The reality is, these guys are guilty of succumbing to the good sex pitfall. After a few go arounds, they landed with a more attractive chick, and decided to ring it because the bedroom was hot, even if she had poor behavioral problems otherwise. Plenty of men do this. You only have to visit a pre-COVID shopping mall to see couples were the girl is verbally or physically abusive, yet Mr. Dependable is still hanging around. That remains the price of not getting turned off.
Had those MGTOWs succeeded in actually transcending the booty, they never would have gotten married in the first place. But those couple seconds of joy were simply irresistible, and so it had to happen.
Human sexuality is the greatest dictator.