Relations and Dating · Self-Improvement

We Occupy Different Worlds

There is an awful lot of emphasis on “coming together” and “being one tribe” in today’s world, both before and after the death of Coors Light. Companies can’t stop preaching the virtues, politicians are ever-willing to trot out their statements of welcome, and educational leaders do much the same. We are all one, they seem to mutter, and you best believe it.

The only problem is, reality tells a starkly different story. Depending on who we are and where we come from, our perceptions and experiences stand to be radically disparate in nature, regardless of how much propaganda can be hoisted to block out those facts. No serious person is going to argue that the 6’4’’ white man has any realistic identification or solidarity with a 5’2’’ Hispanic guy. Perhaps if they work in the same economic field we might witness some closeness, but each will be reacted to as though they are two entirely separate creatures, based on skin tone and height. Only an exasperated fool would attempt to join them.   

In the field of dating, those differences matter, as we well know. The same could be true of a fit and lipped Latina versus a 250lb “Baby blue eyes” blonde. Is anyone willing to argue that somehow they are on even terms? (This excluding the Alt-Right and minority men who worship skin color). Differences matter, and no one actually believes the aforementioned claptrap unless they have to.

Now some empowered soul will stand and declare, “You’re wrong! It’s a about equality under the law.” Please humor me more. Is a working class person without financial resources liable to be treated the same as a rich fellow who can pay for the fancier esquire? The answer is not in doubt, but citizens are expected to cover their eyes and ears.

Even in the economic realm, disparities translate into divided universes. The college kid whose parents are loaded has far more freedom in terms of extracurricular activities and graduate schools than another specimen forced to pay their own way. I am reminded of the self-righteous classmate who mocked me for having a summer job in university while he took a stipend from the parents for an unpaid internship with the high and mighty. Means lead to starkly opposite ends, at least in the medium term.

As time goes on, this prevailing truth continues to manifest itself in the public square. There is no debate that BMM supporters view the world differently than “Defend the Police” adherents. Certainly Democrats and Republicans have separate views of legitimacy, which raises the deafening cry of what will happen in November 2020, regardless of the outcome.

Will everyone unite, because “We’re all Americans after all”?

Culturalism · Relations and Dating · Self-Improvement

The Importance of Keeping a Journal

“Those fateful days, robust hours, frightful minutes, all lost to the shimmering gray wall of forever.”

Not sure where that quotation came from, so we’ll just say Martin Goldberg. At any rate, it touches upon one of the most direct arguments I can make for the maintenance of a daily – if not at least every other day—written journal. This remains one of the most crucial habits you can adopt in life, and, perhaps unsurprisingly, the practice is relatively uncommon.

As human beings, our capacity for long-term memory is relatively limited. Most of us cannot remember in detail a single day twenty years ago, or even one two weeks passed. It could be something to do with the monotony of everyday life, yet the realization is no less disconcerting under that lens. It is probably not a stretch to say that 97 percent of your life is a frantic blur, and that is somehow acceptable. I try to even but I simply cannot.

Think of the memories, the specifics, whether good or bad, all dashed to pieces in short order, their legacies gone before a second breath. The magnitude is an overwhelming spell of terror. What’s more, those absent slices of time make up your life.

On this very hill we must consider the value of a journal. By jotting down specific notes of what went on and who was involved, the individual crafts an enduring story which can outsmart the mind and leave imprints to be rediscovered in later days. There is no more – or certainly less—of the scrambling wonder, the attempt to recall a name or face, especially as you gaze down the churning tide of advanced age. Instead of being a stumbled and haggard crone reaching for the vanished past, you can feel the touch of scrolls, the scent of faded ink, the love of days gone by but never perished. You have the ability to return, and to revisit.

Now of course at some point you may pass on into that place beyond the stars, where few souls have gone and reported back. Yet with a journal you live on. The heart of the child, young or grown to fill difficult shoes, will look at and enter the mind of his father, feel the echoes of the time, the memory he was too small to experience. Daughters will find the wisdom of their mother, what things she loved, the joy that spoke, rich tears all cried. The legacy will be one living, from time towards a horizon eternal.

All fault of a pen touched gently to the paper.

Culturalism · Relations and Dating

Why Men Seek Love

Yesterday I stumbled across a very touching video by The Enlightened Kiwi, one of the few genuine MGTOW sources out there. As he recounted his experiences of loss and a collapsed marriage, it made me wonder why exactly we as men chase the conception of love with a woman. It is undeniably true that we are acculturated into the mindset from a young age, with true love in matrimony established as a milestone for “normal people” to reach, or otherwise face social distancing from polite society. At the same time, the results are frequently poor, filled by more heartache than sheer pleasure.

Perhaps the answer is that we have no choice. Biologically, psychologically, or socially, the drive for companionship (even if it is often confused with lust) frustrates the most dour skeptics of romance. Men regularly sacrifice their whole dignity for the chance to keep a woman, and even grumpy fellows who swear off marriage can be found softly hoping that an alternative, no matter how imperfect, exists.

Are most of us miserable melancholics, hoping to one day leave the anonymous meetings for good? Very possible is the correct answer. As Anna Snitkina described her interaction with the widowed Fyodor Dostoevsky before their marriage:

“So you think I can marry again?” he asked. “That someone might consent to become my wife? What kind of wife shall I choose then — an intelligent one or a kind one?”
“An intelligent one, of course.”
“Well, no… if I have the choice, I’ll pick a kind one, so that she’ll take pity on me and love me.”
While we were on the theme of marriage, he asked me why I didn’t marry myself. I answered that I had two suitors, both splendid people and that I respected them both very much but did not love them — and that I wanted to marry for love.
“For love, without fail,” he seconded me heartily. “Respect alone isn’t enough for a happy marriage!”

Those bold sections are particularly telling. Granted, Fyodor was struggling financially at this point in his life, but notice the emphasis on his need to be loved. He embodies the eternal struggle of men against a world that expects us to do things right, land on our feet, not show emotion, and be able to absorb the fiercest blows. And if for but a moment we lean on someone else, or admit to the pain stirring inside, the world will pounce like a pack of ravenous wolves.

Maybe that is why we want to be loved.

Culturalism · Relations and Dating

How a Man Becomes Eclipsed

Some months back I noted how Meghan Markle had brilliantly outperformed in the category of economic dating. She beat the manosphere’s fantastical “wall,” established herself in a secure financial position, and had a child with the doting Prince Harry. More than all that, she has continued to demonstrate her absolute dominance over the second-hand royal, to the point where he practically doesn’t exist.  

The most recent example of such supremacy comes in a report from the Daily Mail:

Hold on a second. Right here we have a fellow who is looks and status-wise in the top five percent worldwide. For years he was on lists of the most eligible bachelors, getting royally (lol) fawned over by millions of different women. And now, like any depressed suburban dad bod, he is forced to give up whole swaths of his identity to maintain the “happy wife.”

Sure, it could just be angry royal gossip, but her previous influence on the man suggests otherwise. The prevailing question would be what further concessions she might manage to extract in his desperate quest to “keep the peace,” and ensure that love spigot is unleashed at least once a month. Maybe a sex-change operation?

Harry should be a lesson to anyone engaged with a serious relationship, male or female. While some bad habits are worth kicking, giving up your whole personality and character simply to please a mate is recipe for the subservient life of an invisible creature. A total eclipse of the heart.

Relations and Dating

Why I’m Skeptical of MGTOW Horror Stories

A good bit of the manosphere can credit its origins to middle-aged men recounting depressing stories about their experiences with marriage and psychotic women. In particular, the MGTOW community is often buoyed by older dudes discussing how they were cucked or “divorce raped” by a female chameleon. These examples are held up as the St. Red Pill truths that men ought to follow, or else risk legal and financial destitution.

Yet I remain rather unconvinced. While there can be no question that many marriages end in a smoldering ball of fire due to the wife’s infidelity or lilipad-hopping standards,  that is not always the full story. The problem is, we get nothing beyond grim lamentations from the men reporting their suffering, and little of the other side.

This creates an obvious problem concerning male forthrightness.  If we consider that (anecdotally) the typical guy has no issue exaggerating the size of his wealth, endowment, or quality/number of past sexual partners, then why should he be trusted otherwise?

As I noted in an older video, I have known three men in real life who were MGTOWs in all but name. They talked about the secret nature of women, the corrupt family courts, and the problem of feminism. On top of that, they all tried to dissuade those around them from taking those holy vows.

Nothing terribly wrong with such advice, but as I learned more about their marriages from associates and friends, the following came out:

  • Guy No. 1: Would come home sopping drunk most nights to his wife and five kids, yell at his woman, and then proceed to pass out on the couch, often naked.
  • Guy No. 2: Regularly screamed at his wife on the phone and in person for minor issues like not including a particular utensil with his bag lunch. Was a jerk to people in general.
  • Guy No. 3: Cheated on his wife with older woman, and gave his spouse a serious STD.

A further problem got highlighted by No. 1, who said he married a “great actress,” which is manosphere parlance for a female “chameleon.” There was a time I might have taken this claim seriously, but having dated a large share of women, I find it very difficult to believe, if not entirely laughable. Reality simply gets in the way.

To illustrate things better, let’s eliminate the men who came from traditional backgrounds and were virgins going into marriage. These guys can be excluded because they probably bought into the romantic fairy tales on the basis of custom. For everyone else, there was some dancing in the moonlight going on before vow time, and likely with multiple partners. In other words, they weren’t ignorant of all female behavior.

With that being said, it’s hard to believe those fellers failed to see the red flags coming. Women may be good at keeping up a facade for a few months –maybe even a year—yet at a certain point it becomes abundantly obvious what intentions she holds. They might try to fool a guy, but very few are that good.

The reality is, these guys are guilty of succumbing to the good sex pitfall. After a few go arounds, they landed with a more attractive chick, and decided to ring it because the bedroom was hot, even if she had poor behavioral problems otherwise. Plenty of men do this. You only have to visit a pre-COVID shopping mall to see couples were the girl is verbally or physically abusive, yet Mr. Dependable is still hanging around. That remains the price of not getting turned off.

Had those MGTOWs succeeded in actually transcending the booty, they never would have gotten married in the first place. But those couple seconds of joy were simply irresistible, and so it had to happen.

Human sexuality is the greatest dictator.